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This Vape Store Robbery Video Will Make You Laugh

Vape Store Robbery Video
We have something a little different for you today, and you'll want to stick around because it's absolutely hilarious. There's no shortage of "Top 10 Dumbest Criminals" videos online, but this video that we're about to show you features a couple of masterminds that really raise the bar.

Before you watch this, let us set the scene for you. The date is March 11, 2019, in Winnipeg. At 1 AM, the Flamingo Vape Shop is robbed by a couple of low lives.

Of course, the shop owner, Cam Rochon, was properly peeved about this turn of events... until he saw the security footage. After all, he'd been robbed, but when you see this video you'll understand why he couldn't help but crack a smile.

Okay, we're sure you've already noticed it, but we still really feel the need to point out the reflective, neon yellow jacket. Hard to miss, right? Yeah, that's the point of jackets like that.

Joggers and road workers wear them when the sun goes down. That way, even in the pitch black darkness of night, any nearby person WILL see them. What would inspire someone to wear this during a robbery?

While we've never stolen anything nor do we ever plan to, so strictly hypothetically speaking, if we were to do this, we'd probably be decked out in full ninja garbs. What is he wearing? A jacket that may as well scream "look at me" and a pair of Uggs.

We're assuming that, like us, you're already starting to get a grasp of this guy's mental framework, and the video is only seconds in.

At this point, our perp seems to be looking for valuables. Pretty standard thief move, right? Believe it or not, that's as close as he comes to competency for the duration of this video.

The first thing he does in his search for valuables is walk right past all of the unopened products, and he then reaches out towards a display filled with half-used bottles of sample e-liquid.

He becomes noticeably frustrated with himself and gives the display stand a little shove. Because if you don't show the half-used sample e-liquid bottles who's boss, you lose all of your dignity. He caught himself slipping, but he really came back and managed to maintain his thug status.

This next part is perhaps our favourite. If you thought asserting dominance over e-liquid samples made him look stupid, just wait until you witness his epic struggle with the laptop charger. If that sounds mind-boggling to you, get this... he loses to the laptop charger.

He comes upon a laptop that's plugged in and charging, and rather than unplug the charger from the laptop, he tries to unplug it from the wall by yanking on it. It doesn't work at all. At no point does he successfully remove the laptop charger from the wall.

He's definitely trying. In fact, he's putting so much effort into the charger that upon viewing this part of the video, we started to become unsure of what it was we were seeing. Even if the charger was embedded in the drywall, it should've come right out with that amount of force. This is seriously like the Excalibur of laptop chargers. Only the worthy can remove this charging cable.

After he struggles and struggles to rip the cord from the wall, it looks like he just temporarily loses his mind. Because mid-struggle, still holding the laptop, he just tries to walk away, like the cord was never even there.

Maybe the situation was just too absurd, and in the hysteria of the moment, he really thought that this laptop charger couldn't actually be real.

He eventually detaches the charger from the laptop's charging port, possibly because he suddenly remembered how cords work, but after that, he was absolutely done with that laptop charger.

He just left it there. It legitimately seems as though he'd rather have no way to charge the laptop than be humiliated by this laptop charger again.

By the way, we really hope that this laptop charger knows that it was never the underdog of this story. If you saw this guy rocking a reflective jacket and Uggs and thought for even a second that he could overpower a laptop charger, that might be on you.

The bizarre nature of this video doesn't stop with the abused e-liquid samples and the laptop charger that decided to fight back. No, from here until the end of the video, the robbers are outsmarted by pretty much every nonthinking object in the room, and it's really something to behold.

The edited footage now cuts to the neon shirt guy's partner in crime, but we like to think that he's still in the other room yelling at some office supplies. While he comes off as little neurotic, the other one is more bumbling than anything. She doesn't seem to know why they're there or what they're doing.

Remember the aforementioned e-liquid samples in the display stand? She picks that stand up and moves it to the other side of the counter, dropping nearly every bottle on the way there. She didn't seem to have any reason for doing this, but we honestly feel that at this point in the video, reason is an unrealistic expectation.

Really, there was nothing beneath or behind this display that she was trying to get to. She doesn't even check. She just picks it up, moves it to the other side of the store as haphazardly as possible, and continues with her robbery as though what just happened made perfect, logical sense. Again, just a mind-boggling thing to see. It's so funny that you even begin to think that it's staged, but you really can't make this stuff up.

On that note, the other man rushed back into the room. We couldn't help but notice that as the guy in the neon jacket attempts to break into a glass display box, he tries to use the crowbar to pop the top off like it's a wooden crate.

He's really putting a lot of energy into this display box, and because of how he's trying to open it, you can tell he was expecting the top to just fly off, as though it weren't made of glass. Otherwise, he would've just smashed it, right?

Obviously, instead, the entire case just shatters in front of him. We feel as though the essence of this robbery was really captured at that moment. We've actually never witnessed such an accurate visual metaphor.

Neon shirt guy is out of the picture again, and we witness his partner perform the worst sledgehammer swing of all time. We're not just saying that to be critical; it is laughably uncoordinated. If her effort were any lower, the hammer would just fall out of her hand, one would think.

She's swinging the hammer at a glass display case, which doesn't even shatter. It just falls out of its frame. After a moment, it falls on her head, further validating the fact that the shop is, indeed, fighting back.

She starts throwing valuables into a trashcan that she's holding, and you can clearly see them falling from the bottom of the trashcan onto the floor. At first, this caught us off guard.

We weren't sure what was happening. For just a moment we thought she was just missing the trashcan, but then quickly realized that the bottom of the trashcan was just gone. This brings up several new questions, but really, there isn't a lot in this video that doesn't.

Whatever happened to the bottom of the trashcan happened off-camera, so we may never know. That isn't even the most confusing part of this footage. Seriously, what's up with that laptop charger?

This is where they make their escape, basically just running out of the shop carrying whatever they can. They seemingly forgot their backpacks, and the trash can plan fell through. Again, our apologies for that truly awful wordplay.

To be honest, we don't even know what to think of this footage. If the owner hadn't filed a police report, we would seriously think that it was a joke. Not only are they just extremely bad at this, but there are just so many bizarre, unexplained circumstances at play in this video.

How you muster up the will to rob a store and manage to be this bad at it? How was this laptop charger endowed with such otherworldly power? What happened to the trash can? Why doesn't neon shirt guy know what glass is? Will the e-liquid samples receive the psychotherapy that they'll surely need to fully recover from this traumatic incident?

We'll likely never have the answers to these questions, but we'd be shocked if this video doesn't blow up more than it already has. It's just such a kick in the brain for so many reasons, and we can honestly see people dissecting it frame by frame for months to come.

We want this video to go viral, and we want to see essay videos, theory videos, and analysis videos. We have to make it happen for the e-liquid samples. They deserve to have their story told.

On a more serious note, we obviously recommend that all robbers consider an alternate career path. It's an extremely immoral act in which you victimize the innocent, hard-working people out there. We would give the same advice to our perpetrators, but with a few extra reasons.

Guys, you are so genuinely bad at this. Theft just isn't your thing. You gave it a shot, and the shop decor almost managed to stop you. What if a person had caught you? Hopefully, the widespread criticism of their work will inspire them to explore different hobbies, but for some reason, we have a very strong feeling that this won't be the case.

Wearing a neon shirt during a robbery, trying to open a glass case like a wooden crate, and rearranging the furniture mid-heist are all actions that kind of allude to the fact that these people aren't good at recognizing their current situation and adapting to it. If they continue to do this, at least we can assume that they'll get caught pretty quickly.

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22 May 2019

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